Are You Too Old To Date? The Answer Will Surprise You
After my grandpa died, my grandma never dated again. She liked several local men and didn’t want to be lonely. But, she had a limiting mindset that you could be “too old” for certain activities, including dating.
You might see modern dating as hopelessly overwhelming. So much has changed, even in the last ten years. Changes like online dating, social media, and texting might have you wondering: are you too old to date?
The answer is “No!” I’ve worked with people of all ages in my coaching business. In fact, many of the most motivated and successful clients are older. This article will explain why you’re never too old to date.
Your Age Is An Advantage
If you are older, even into your 50s, 60s, and beyond, you have something very rare and valuable in relationships: life experience. You’ve known the heartaches, breakups, and ups and downs of dating and, I hope, actually learned from them.
This means you can avoid a lot of the pain and awkwardness you experienced when you dated in the past. Dating can be fun, exciting, and, above all, on your terms. And, confidence and experience are sexy!
So, you aren’t too old to date. Once you jump back in and start meeting people, you’ll be surprised at how much easier (and more fun) older dating can be.
The Fundamentals Haven’t Changed
Modern dating can seem like something from another planet. But, although you often hear about the changes, the fundamental realities of relationships have pretty much stayed the same.
For example, even with the popularity of online dating, most couples still meet through friends. Also, the traditional role of men asking women on dates and “making the first move” remains the norm. Standards of attraction have stayed the same too, with high value still placed on physical attractiveness, a sense of humor, and confidence.
The actual process of going on dates hasn’t changed much either. Going out for dinner, seeing a movie, and grabbing drinks are very popular. And, of course, flirting is still the universal language of attraction and romantic connection.
So, even with all of the dating changes (more on that next), you can still rest assured that a lot hasn’t changed at all. Asking am I too old to date doesn’t take into account that fact that you already have experience in most of the process.
You Can Learn New Tricks
Although a lot has stayed the same with finding relationships, some of the changes are pretty dramatic. For example, online dating and social media have radically changed the dating game. And, as online connections have increased, real world ones, like community events and social clubs, have decreased. This could be an unpleasant new reality.
But, these changes have also brought major opportunities for those willing to embrace them. For example, online dating allows people to connect who never would’ve met under the old methods.
It might seem scary and confusing, but, with time and practice, you can adapt and thrive.
Scientists used to think that your personality was pretty much hard wired by a certain age. However, recent research has shown that the brain is actually “plastic,” meaning changeable. So, an adult of any age can at least partially change and adapt mentally, learning new skills and growing as a person.
Mindset Is Everything
My grandma had an incredible friend who lived life to the fullest and never stopped going on new adventures, even at an advanced age. She embraced social media as a great-great-grandma, got her first tattoo in her 80s, and rode a mechanical bull on her 90th birthday. This woman wasn’t “too old” for anything.
Even the question “are you too old to date?” is inherently defeatist. If you have the right mindset, then you’re never too old to find love or get into any type of relationship you want.
Rewiring the brain after the teenage years is more difficult. This explains why people get “set in their ways” and even those who want change can find it difficult. But, you have to look at your motivations and goals.
If you want to find love, have a meaningful relationship, and find a life partner, then it should be worth the time and effort to get relearn the old skills of dating and master the new ones. But, one thing is for sure: you’ll never succeed if you go in thinking that you’re too old.
Channel Your Inner Youth
I recently took an acting class with a gentleman in his late 50s. He’d never acted before, but always dreamed of being on television. Although he was the oldest by twenty years, he had fun, met a lot of new friends, and successfully completed that class.
Just because you’re older doesn’t mean you have to limit yourself to stereotypical “old person” activities. You can do whatever you want at any age. Get in amazing shape, travel the world, learn to dance, write a novel, or take a class on campus.
Channel your inner youth and live life on your terms, regardless of your age. You’ll also discover that as you live your best life, you’ll meet interesting and fun people who might turn into more than just a friendship.
You’re Not Alone
If your idea of dating is a bunch of young people having fun while everyone over 50 sits around lonely, you need to update your thinking! Lots of people in their 40s, 50s, 60s, and beyond are not only very active in the dating scene, but are defying stereotypes and having a lot of fun.
According to one study, twenty-nine percent of seniors reported going on a date in the last year with someone they met online. Another survey showed that forty percent of adults 65-80 have an active sex life.
And, older adults living together, but not marrying has increased seventy-five percent. So, a lot of people are defying traditional dating norms, even as seniors.
I share these stats to show that if you are older and want to date, get into a relationship, or simply have sex, you’re normal.
You’re not too old to date and you’re not past your prime. If you want to find love, you can at any age. Get out there and do it!