Want To Find True Love? Ditch Online Dating And Get In The Real World

woman in pink dress holding an iPhoneImagine a new world of dating where:

-People can’t lie about height, weight, and other aspects of physical appearance
-You can actually tell if a person is real or a catfish
-You can know if you’re compatible with someone before you go on the first date
-You can experience important aspects of dating like scent, charisma, charm, and body language as soon as you meet

If this sounds too good to be true, then you need to step away from your phone because what I’ve described is known as “real world dating.” In fact, it’s not a “new” way of dating at all, but the way people have fallen in love for millenia, long before dating apps cursed us to the whims of the algorithm.

The other day a good friend of mine and I went to the Gallery Hop, an event held monthly in our city where people visit various art galleries, shops, and bars. We attend these to have fun, experience culture, and meet new people.

Next to us at a coffee shop, we noticed three women glued to their phones. Incredibly two of them were on Bumble. They were mostly swiping left and complaining about all of the bad guys on the app.

They were in the midst of a social event with thousands of people in one of the most vibrant sections of the city. But, instead of meeting the educated, cultured guys all around them and talking to them, they were swiping left on losers.

I’m not here to bash technology because I love it. But, technology has definitely contributed to the loneliness epidemic sweeping America. People are glued to their phones and socially isolated. And, they only try to find love via technology where they are limited by algorithms and platforms that turn them into a picture and a headline.

The way to break free is to talk to people in the real world. While you might be limited by geography and schedules, at least by meeting people at bars, coffee shops, on the train, at work, and at social events, you bypass a lot of the nonsense of online dating.

patio at a fancy barThat cute guy you’ve never seen online after months on Tinder? You can say “hi” at the Starbucks counter. The girl who filtered you out on Match because you didn’t make enough money? You can flirt with her while ordering drinks at the bar. Your future soulmate? He or she could be anyone of the the hundreds of people you encounter, but ignore on a regular basis!

Meeting in the real world can be tough. Even thinking about it could give you anxiety. It’s so much easier to swipe and match in the comfort of your own home. Or is it?

I like to remind people that online dating is actually difficult and stressful. You spend a lot of time matching and messaging only to be ghosted in a week. Or, you get the person out and he or she looks and acts nothing like the online persona. So, it’s back to the drawing board. And then there’s the outright lying, deception, spamming, bots, scammers, and time wasters you have to wade through.

While meeting people in the real world can be anxiety inducing upfront, at least you’re saving yourself a lot of the headaches and heartaches that online dating brings.

For example, if you see a cute guy on the train, talk to him and you give him your number, you know what he looks like, you know you find him cute in the real world, and you’ve bonded briefly. If he texts you and you get along, then you’re already way ahead of the game.

In the real word, you see people you like and choose to meet them. You can experience their personality, their looks, and all of the intangibles of attraction. You decide then and there if you like them. And, above all, your options aren’t limited by artificial preferences or algorithms. You control your destiny. Do you talk to them or not? That’s it.

Yes, you might be rejected. In fact, you will be rejected.  But, at least you can “shoot your shot” rather than never be seen at all because you’re out of someone’s preference ranges or the algorithm thinks you’re a bad match. And, did I mention algorithms suck at finding love anyway?

Also, the more you try it, the better you’ll become at meeting new people in the real world. And, you won’t be rejected. Trust me, going on a date with someone you met and asked out in the real world is one of the greatest feelings in the world.

This month we’ll be focusing on ways to succeed in real world dating. But, it’s easier than you think. It’s often as simple as hanging out in the right places, being friendly, saying hi to strangers, talking to people you see regularly, and offering to followup. Sure, it can be harrowing at times. But, the reward is great.

Please join us over at our Facebook page in our quest to find love in 2019!

About the Author

Jonathan Bennett

Jonathan Bennett

Jonathan Bennett is a writer, speaker, and dating/relationship expert. He's helped millions through his articles, speaking, consulting, and coaching. He's appeared in over 500 major publications, including Business Insider, The Wall Street Journal, and Psychology Today.

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