Get Noticed: Writing A Successful Online Dating Profile
Dating profiles run the gamut from amazing to painful. The amazing ones are the people you’d like to date, while the painful ones can elicit a left swipe and hopefully a good laugh (unless, of course, you’re the one with a painfully bad profile). But, most of the profiles are in what could be called the “boring middle.”
Most people have no idea how to get noticed online and know little about writing a successful online dating profile. If anything, they do the opposite.
For example, you like tacos? So do 99% of people. Own a dog? Again, you’re pretty much like everyone else. Sharing an inspirational quote? Yeah, everyone has already seen that fake Marilyn Monroe quote plastered over social media. Heck, for many guys, simply coming up with a profile must be too difficult because many of our women clients complain about men not even putting up a single word.
I’m not a big fan of online dating for many reasons. However, there definitely is a place for it. But, if your profile is boring, offensive, or even average, you might as well not even bother wasting your time. But, you can find success with your online dating profile. Here are four basic tips to write one that finds you love.
“Broke ass guys swipe left” or “I want a guy with ambition, goals, and a good job.” Which do you think is more inviting for a guy?
I have a very good job and would never be considered “broke.” But, I’d never in a million years match with someone who frames her desire for a financially stable guy like the first person.
While it’s necessary to exclude people to avoid wasting time, I’d recommend keeping your profile positive rather than negative. You can even express your preferences in positive ways with a little creativity.
By keeping it positive, you’re doing two things. First, you’re showing the world that you’re tactful and have a good attitude. Second, you’re not turning off the very guys you’re trying to impress. To go back to the first example, very few guys with culture, education, and money are going to go for a girl using the words “broke ass” and calling out other guys.
I’ve done numerous personal experiments with online dating and I can tell you that most profiles look almost exactly alike. Sure, the photos and wording differ slightly, but people generally follow the same motifs. I’m sure you’ve noticed this too.
When writing your profile, try to avoid being too general. Share details that will set you apart from the crowd. It’s helpful to ask yourself: “how many other people can say the same thing?” If it’s more than fifty percent, then put something else.
For example, instead of writing “Game of Thrones junkie” talk about more unique or obscure television interests. Rather than expressing your love for the latest pop star, mention how you have a special place in your heart for trap music (or something else unusual). Don’t talk about your job which almost everyone has. Share how you love music theory instead. You get the point.
You might think that this seems backwards because don’t you want to share things you’ll have in common? The answer is actually “no!” You want to share unique traits and interests that make you stand out and that will cause others to reach out to you and start interesting conversations. Remember that online dating is a saturated market. You have to stand out and be noticed, not blend in.
Online dating is brutal and one study showed the abysmally low response rates even after matching. It shows you have to be different than everyone else, but in a good way, to even find a small amount of success.
You might think it’s a great idea to “lay it all out” when filling out your dating profile that way your match knows exactly what he or she is getting from the start. So, you share everything from your deepest desires to the time you accidentally called your teacher “mommy” in second grade.
However, this isn’t the best method to find quality people to date. For one, in person dating is where most of the information about your life should come out. There is great excitement in finding out more about each other over dinner, drinks, and long walks home. By sharing it all upfront, you’re taking a lot of the romance out of the process.
Second, you’re more likely to turn off a potential date who might otherwise like you. Once people meet and fall for each other, they’re a lot more likely to accept flaws and eccentricities. When they’re reading your life story online in paragraph form, their logical brain takes over and they see them as red flags.
Don’t lie. But, also don’t feel you have to tell your whole life story in your profile. See it like a resume of sorts. Put your best foot forward, but don’t overshare. And, for goodness sake, leave room for a little mystery!
I’ve seen a lot of profiles where people talk about traveling the world every two months or how their job (or kids) are their lives. While I love traveling, spend a lot of time at work, and certainly treasure my daughter, wording is everything.
If you’re on a dating app and actually want to get a date, you have to show the world that you’re actually open and available to date. If your profile gives the impression that you are going to be too busy to date, too distracted for a relationship, or otherwise unavailable (even emotionally), a lot of people are simply going to not match with you. Well, one type of will message you if you come across as emotionally unavailable: players, who also are emotionally unavailable and prefer that you are.
Most people are understanding of things like work, family, and travel commitments. But, if they get the impression that you have no room in your life for them, they aren’t going to favor you over the hundreds of other people on the app who actually express that they have the time and energy to commit to dating.
While online dating might not be a ton of fun, if you try these tips, you will definitely improve your chances of finding someone quality to date. At the very least, you will be welcoming to the kinds of men and women that you truly want in your life.
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