4 Common Holiday Relationship Problems

We associate the holidays with fun, festivity, peace, and joy. And, being in a good relationship can make the holiday season even more meaningful. After all, there is a Hallmark Channel stereotype about finding and strengthening love at Christmas.

But, that doesn’t tell the whole story for many people. The holiday season can be very stressful and presents unique challenges, even for the strongest of couples. If you’re already struggling, they can make things far worse.

Whether you celebrate Christmas, Hanukkah, or another holiday, you will likely encounter several common challenges.

It’s important to be aware of them because in the midst of the shopping, planning, and general stress, you can lose sight of what matters most: the person you love and the relationship you value. And, this can lead to unnecessary fights and even break ups.

This article will examine common holiday relationship problems so you can avoid them and keep your relationship strong!

Money Arguments

Studies show that money issues are one of the most common fights in a relationship. But, the holidays can create even more stress and fights about money.

People typically spend more money during the holidays to buy things like Christmas presents or throw elaborate parties. And, this can create stress between partners, especially if both sides can’t come to an agreement.

It also can reveal differences in beliefs and values about money that normally don’t come out. For example, one partner might want to spend more on children while the other thinks it’s inappropriate given the budget or believing it’s not right to “spoil the kids.”

The key to avoid this conflict is to keep the lines of communication open and be willing to compromise. Just because the money amounts are bigger doesn’t mean you can’t come to an agreement.

Scheduling Conflicts

The holidays can be very busy for a lot of people. When you add up holiday parties, shopping time, family dinners, and kids events on top of all the normal activities, it’s possible to be extremely overscheduled before and around the holidays.

This can create two different problems. First, this overscheduling can get in the way of spending alone time with your partner, especially if you’re both pulled in different directions.

Second, it can create fights about which events to attend, if any. For example, couples might disagree about where to spend Christmas Eve dinner or whether not they should go to an office party at a bar.

Again, the key is communication and compromise. Even if you both can be perfectly happy, come up with solutions that can make you both at least mostly happy.

Seasonal Depression

As the days get darker and the weather gets colder, it can cause feelings of depression in some people. It is officially called seasonal affective disorder and can be an issue during the holidays.

If winter is causing you or your partner to feel depressed, even mildly, it can create additional struggles, especially if neither of you is willing to discuss it or address it. It can lead to feelings of sadness and even anger that can cause fights and misunderstandings.

If either of you is feeling depressed, be honest with your partner so they don’t personalize your emotions. And, above all, seek help. You shouldn’t have to suffer in silence. You can get into therapy and receive the support of your partner.

Family and Friend Friction

Family is a major part of holiday traditions. Friends can be too. You might see relatives and friends around the holidays that you normally wouldn’t. And, sometimes, these might be people you or your partner would rather avoid.

This can lead to fights as you or your partner insist that you don’t want to go to a friend or relative’s house. Or maybe you both end up going and someone gets drunk or mouths off and next thing you know, you’re in the middle of a family fight. And, later you fight about the fight!

Again, the key is compromise and communication, but also boundary setting. If someone is truly toxic, it’s likely best to stay home. But, if you can tolerate a friend or family member, then compromising can be a nice gesture.

If you experience these common problems, remember that you can work through anything. But, being aware of them is a big help. During the holiday stress, take time to focus on your relationship and remember what really matters.