Why Am I Attracted To Older Men? 5 Reasons You Love Mature Guys

woman reaching up to the skyA good friend of mine recently married the love of her life. While this doesn’t seem like news, he is 55 and she is 25. You don’t see that every day!

Age gaps were very common in the past and occasionally make the news today, usually involving celebrities or people in positions of power who are highly attractive. But, younger women who like older guys can still face hate, judgment, and ridicule, especially online.

As a result, they can’t always be honest about their feelings. So, they ask family, friends, and strangers, why am I attracted to older men?

If you like older guys, you’re not weird. The research is very clear that it doesn’t mean you have daddy issues or mental health problems. And, once you’re a legal adult, there is no rule that says you have to date someone within a certain age range (Even the “Half Your Age Plus Seven” rule is bogus). Younger women being attracted to older men is perfectly normal, and can even have many advantages.

This article is a “no judgment” zone, so save the hate for somewhere else. If you like older guys, younger guys, or guys your exact age, that’s your choice and I wish you the best. All preferences have advantages and disadvantages. But, this article will explain the reasons you’re attracted to older men and why that’s OK!


Everyone knows that girls grow up faster than boys. Recent research shows that men reach emotional maturity at age 43 and women at 32. And, this eleven year gap likely happens early. It’s no surprise that women were twice as likely as men to feel that they were the “grown up” in their relationship.

I’ve heard many complaints from younger women about guys their age. They have no ambition, won’t grow up, and aren’t responsible adults. These guys only seem interested in video games, watching sports, and messing around. Many are even still living at home! These younger men aren’t “relationship material.”

Of course, there’s no guarantee an older guy will be mature. There are losers, jerks, and screw offs at every age. However, if a man is older, the odds are better you’ll get mature conversation, adult hobbies, and someone who doesn’t need you to be his mother.

Financial Stability

I hate the stereotype that women only use older men for their money. However, having your shit together is very attractive. And, studies show that financial success could be one reason women find older men attractive.

man in suit on motorcyicleThe current economic system rewards job experience and longevity. So, even if it seems unfair, an average guy in his forties will typically have more money than a smarter, more talented younger guy in the same field.

Also, over time, investments mature, money grows, and people find creative ways to make extra cash. Unless he’s born rich, a younger guy starting out simply doesn’t have the same opportunities

Don’t feel guilty or like a bad person because you want a successful man with money. As long as you love him for him, and not just for his money, there is nothing wrong with enjoying the travel, education, and other nice things that come with committing to a financially established guy. Of course, you’ll get hate: other women will be jealous that you’re with him while they’re probably constantly floating their broke boyfriend who just spent the last money from his paycheck on a new video game.

Life Experience

As men age, they not only mature, but get life experience. While there are exceptions, most older men have learned important lessons, gained education and wisdom, and created successful, stable lives.

Life experience is valuable in areas like money management, employment, household matters, and overall decision making. People with life experience are stronger and can stand up to others. They are teachers who can guide you to be the best. And, they’re usually more skilled in many areas, including in the bedroom.

If you’re asking “why am I attracted to older men?” you might love the experience older men bring to the relationship. For one, he is more likely to be great at sex, taking his time and making sure you’re satisfied (versus the “pump, pump, pull, and fall asleep” method of many younger guys). He makes smart decisions. You know that he will keep you safe and stable for years to come. And, you don’t have to act like his mom, because he isn’t immature like younger guys.


As people gain life experience and mature, they also become more confident. The age at which confidence is highest might surprise you. It’s sixty! And, as people age, their confidence grows.

Women find genuinely confident men very attractive. They love a man who acts with power, strength and leadership, but isn’t arrogant, insecure, or aggressive. A lot of older guys have successfully developed this mature confidence through years of accomplishments, social interaction, and learning from their mistakes.

If you crave real confidence in your partner, you’re more likely to find it with someone older than you. This could explain why you find older guys attractive!


I’ve written several books and had my ideas featured in major magazines like Cosmo, Psychology Today, and Playboy. I’m the CEO of a good sized company. I’ve appeared on radio and TV many times. In addition, I’ve completed countless obstacle course races, half marathons, and 5k runs.

I’m not a famous guy who went viral. Rather, when I was younger, I worked my ass off to be the best version of myself. And, I put in great effort to achieve my goals. Then, I was accomplishing. Now that I’m older, I’m actually accomplished.

You might find older guys attractive because of their successes. You can take pride in their achievements and be a part of their success now. Rather than helping someone younger build a dream (which is also OK!), you want to live the dream now. There’s nothing wrong with that!

woman in dress with heart balloonEven though a lot of women like older men, age gap relationships are rare. Many women feel pressure to conform and that means dating someone their own age. Many women just assume an older guy won’t be interested in them, which is very far from the truth.

I know quite a few women who deeply loved an older guy, but rejected him to marry someone their family or friends liked. They played it safe and ended up miserable.

If you’re attracted to older men, then find them, date them, and fall in love with them. Be bold! The world would be a better place if people were with those they truly loved. Don’t settle with someone just to make others happy.

About the Author

Jonathan Bennett

Jonathan Bennett

Jonathan Bennett is a writer, speaker, and dating/relationship expert. He's helped millions through his articles, speaking, consulting, and coaching. He's appeared in over 500 major publications, including Business Insider, The Wall Street Journal, and Psychology Today.

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