How To Get A Guy’s Attention Through Text: 5 Surefire Tips

woman with iced coffee and phone textingWe live in an age of instant communication and it’s revolutionized dating. You might have a huge crush on a guy and want to date him, but your anxiety is off the charts because you know that he’s probably texting several other women as you read this article.

How do you stand out and get in a relationship with him?

Knowing how to get a guy’s attention through text or instant messaging can make or break a romantic connection, especially at the beginning.

People have their phones with them nearly all of the time, so use texting skills to your advantage. This article will teach you how to get a guy’s attention over text so you can both can get into an actual relationship!

Be Engaging

Personally, I can’t stand when I’m trying to make conversation over text and someone replies constantly with one word answers. Nothing stops a conversation dead like “ok” or something similar as a response.

Could you imaging having a face to face conversation with someone who only said “cool” or “ok” as a response to you? It would be very boring and frustrating. Yet, this is very common over texting.

If your texting style includes a lot of “ya” and “cool” and “ok” followed by nothing else, then you’re going to come across to guys as a boring, low effort person.

If you want to grab his attention and stand out, then engage him. In other words, treat your texting as you would a real, in person conversation. Use full sentences, ask follow-up questions, and let your personality shine through.

Respond In A Timely Manner

A friend of mine got her phone repaired and wasn’t able to text a guy for two days. When she got her phone back and replied, he had ghosted her! It turns out that in those two days, he matched with another girl on Bumble and they started dating. Two days!

While she couldn’t help her broken phone, many women wait a long time to reply to texts from guys. It happens for many reasons, mainly because you have a life! However, if you really like the guy, then you want to respond to him in a timely manner.

You don’t have to see his text, read it and instantly reply. But, don’t wait too long either. I know women who take hours to reply because they don’t want to appear desperate. But, in our instant gratification world, most guys don’t think your delay is due to lack of desperation. Rather, we assume you’re not interested in us or generally not an engaging person.

The best rule of thumb, if you’re interested in the guy, is to respond when you’re able. So, if it’s a good conversation and you want to reply in seconds, then do it. But, if you’re at work and can’t text for an hour, then it’s OK to make him wait.

But, don’t get cute or try to play games. While you’re pretending not to be desperate, he might be having an amazing conversation with someone who actually texts him back!

Ask About Him

woman texting on the phone on the beachEveryone wants to be wanted. If you’re asking how to get a guy’s attention through text, the best answer might be “pay attention to him!”

Ask open ended questions to find out more about him. Learn what he loves, what makes him happy, and what he does on a daily basis. Open ended questions get people talking.

“What is your dog’s name?” is a closed question because there is one answer. “What do you love about dogs?” or “How did you get your dog?” are open ended because they give him a lot to talk about and you can learn a lot about him that way.

Of course, if he’s good at texting himself, he’ll ask you open ended questions to find out about your life, as well.

Send Photos

Men are very visual creatures. I don’t want to debate which sex is “more visual.” Just know that we men like looking at stuff. Men enjoy staring at a campfire, watching sports, and yes, looking at photos of beautiful women.

Yet, I’m not talking here about sending “those” kind of pics, although that will certainly get his attention too! I’m just talking about photos of you and your life generally. It can be selfies throughout the day and photos from your daily life (like the coffee you had in the morning).

Texting can be cold and artificial at times because you’re both behind screens. By sending photos of yourself and your life, you’re drawing him into your world and showing him (hopefully) that you’re interesting and that he should be a part of your world.

Make photos personal for him too. For example, viewing your Snapchat story isn’t really special. If you send him a Snapchat that is just for him, then he will value it much more.


Part of the reasons women and men fail to make an impression with someone they like over text is because they think texting has to be overly robotic and “matter of fact.” They text everyone like a dentist office texts its customers to confirm an appointment.

Knowing how to get a guy’s attention through text really means knowing how to flirt over text. If you know how to flirt in the real world, you can definitely do it over text!  Flirting is the language of attraction and you’d better use it to your advantage.

Generally speaking, flirting over text involves having fun, being yourself, and letting yourself move the conversation in a more sexual and romantic direction. But, it can be hard because body language and other social cues are a huge part of flirting. How can you show those through text?


couple kissing behind a hatThey’re perfect for flirting. A few of my favorites are the winking emoji if I’m being seductive or the fire emoji if I’m giving a compliment. If I’m suggesting something a little more “adventurous,” I’ll use the angel (or devil) emoji.

Add emojis to spice up your texts and it will take the texts from mere words on a screen to actual flirting. Be creative and have fun with your choices.

These tips will help you get a guy’s attention and stand out from the crowd. Ultimately, the key is to be yourself and let your personality shine through.

Just because you’re behind a screen doesn’t mean you can’t use your texts to your advantage and get the man of your dreams!

About the Author

Jonathan Bennett

Jonathan Bennett

Jonathan Bennett is a writer, speaker, and dating/relationship expert. He's helped millions through his articles, speaking, consulting, and coaching. He's appeared in over 500 major publications, including Business Insider, The Wall Street Journal, and Psychology Today.

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