Why Do Men Ghost? 5 Reasons He Stopped Messaging

man with sunglasses holding phoneYou meet a guy you like and text him. Everything is great and you go on a coffee date. You send a text thanking him for a great time. He doesn’t reply.

The next day, you text him again. You wait and wait, but he doesn’t text you back. You have a feeling he never will.

He ghosted you.

Ghosting happens when a person you’re talking to stops all contact abruptly without explanation or warning. The person just disappears. It happens so often that women constantly ask me: why do men ghost?

Guys aren’t the only one who ghost. Women do it too. But, for the purpose of this article, I’m going to look at why men ghost and give you several possible reasons.

He Has A Girlfriend

Online dating is so easy that anyone can put up a profile and start swiping. This includes guys who are married and in long term relationships. One study showed that thirty percent of people on Tinder are married while another twelve percent are in a long term relationship. So, forty-two percent of people on that dating app aren’t single!

Some men ghost because they were already in a relationship when they met you. They might feel guilty about the potential cheating and cut off contact. Or, their significant other might have busted them and they ghosted for that reason.

You can see if this is true by doing a little stalking. If you can find his social media or other information, look around and see if there is evidence of a girlfriend.

He Found Someone Else

Online dating allows men and women to have options. You no longer have to date within your local communities or friend groups. As a result, many men find “dating around” or “playing the field” easier than ever.

So, if he stopped talking to you abruptly, the odds are good that he started talking to someone else. Or, maybe he was talking to that woman at the same time as you and now they are getting serious. Either way, the result is the same for you: ghosted.

When women ask me why do men ghost, finding someone else is the most common answer. You might have felt a great connection and liked him a lot, but, sadly, he wanted someone else.

He Lost Interest

You won’t get along with every guy and every guy won’t find you attractive or compatible. In the past, you’d meet someone in person or through a friend and have a pretty good idea of that person’s attractiveness upfront.

Girl on pier sadWith online dating, determining attraction is a much longer process. Sure, you see a few photos and a bio, but it takes regular messaging and meeting up to determine if even a small spark exists.

As a result, you might text someone a few days, meet up, and then he determines that he doesn’t feel a spark.

Rather than tell you immediately that he doesn’t feel attraction or chemistry (or lost it), he does the easy thing and ghosts you.

He Was A Fake

Catfishing, or pretending to be someone else online, is a huge problem and this applies to dating, as well.  Over half of Americans admit to falsifying online profiles. About ten percent of all profiles are scammers. If you’re interested in a shocking read, the statistics are crazy.

Scammers and catfish are very skilled in manipulation. You thought you created a genuine connection with a fun, friendly, handsome local guy, but, all along, you talked to an old, ugly, married man halfway across the world who only used you for attention.

Many people who catfish end up feeling guilty or fear that you will catch them in their lies. Or, things simply start to unravel over time. Very few catfish will admit their actions and apologize. So, they only have one option when everything falls apart: ghosting.

Examine your texts with the guy who ghosted you and see if you can see signs that he was a scammer or a fake. When you’re in the moment with someone you think you love, you can’t always see the truth. Now that he ghosted you, try to look back objectively. Here are a few tips to catch a catfish online. Use them in the future if you think a catfish played with your heart then ghosted you.

Because He Can

Online dating has transformed human interaction and the process of finding love, sometimes for the worse. In the past, when you dated, you would typically meet people in your community, workplace, or friend group.

If the guy treated you like crap or behaved like a jerk, he’d have to answer to someone. It might be your intimidating uncle, his co-workers, or the rest of the neighbors. This stopped people from behaving too badly.

Fast forward to online dating where you can match with someone who is a total stranger. He has no connection to you or your life. So, if he matches, messages, goes out on a couple dates, then ghosts you, he will have no consequences. If he has no spine or conscience, then ghosting is an easy, guilt free way to get rid of you.

woman holding a smartphoneGhosting sucks, but men do it (women too) primarily because they can. You can speculate on his exact reasons for weeks or months, but, in the end, you might never know.

Instead of asking why do men ghost, my best advice is to forget the actual reasons for ghosting and see the ghosting as a blessing in disguise.

I know this isn’t easy to do. But, look at it this way: if a guy lacks the courage to explain why he wants to stop talking, he won’t make a good boyfriend anyway!

By ghosting you, it frees you to move on to other, better men who will treat you the way you deserve.

About the Author

Jonathan Bennett

Jonathan Bennett

Jonathan Bennett is a writer, speaker, and dating/relationship expert. He's helped millions through his articles, speaking, consulting, and coaching. He's appeared in over 500 major publications, including Business Insider, The Wall Street Journal, and Psychology Today.

Related Posts

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *